it's joe's fault

funny how it's been months, and yet everytime i come back to this blogging-business, it's because i am catching up on joe. Life's been good lately, there's things coming up in the next few weeks that scare me a little, only becuase it's change though, and it's actually change to be something i want....but the process getting there will be kinda crappy. Jill is leaving to return to phoenix in November, a few days after my birthday. Originally, i was going with her, however, because of my estute financial skills, i haven't really saved enough to do so, at least not without having a job waitng there for me, so-the hard part. I'm going to be moving out of the incredible place i've been living with two friends of mine, and cramp back into my house, the house that my younger brother just moved back into. My job with the grant ends as of October 31, and i have been thinking of getting a job where i can work temporarily getting tips and working as many hours as possible. Hopefully, that'll get me to Phoenix before the end of January. Bills have been practically insurmountable, with all my student loans (damn private college) and i've been doing my best not to spend ANYTHING....this means a big change in lifestyle for me, a cd addict, who at one time was regular $75 dollar a week habit. i no longer eat out, and have been mooching meals off of family quite often. The thing i hate the most is i can't buy everything jill wants for her anymore. i try to reason this by telling myself, this is for her too. But is it? really, i am the one who can hardly think to be without her, she tells me the same thing, but i'm sure my feelings are stronger. haha.

so...more recently, her mom is in town helping her grandma pack and sell most of her junk for her move to AZ as well. (it's a trend i guess) the big news is i'm planning on taking her mom to dinner sometime this week, to ask her if i can marry jill. i'm soooo friggin nervous, now...this is not because i don't think she'll say yes. i have pretty solid confidence in her acceptance of the terms, it's just scary though. when she tells me i can marry jill, then it will still be some time before i actually propose, i am still a little unsure about when. but i'm in no hurry, it'll all fall together, and besides, i have to build up the 'ring fund'. So, joe, if you're reading this, i think i already put you up to speed last time we talked, but here it is in black and white, or if you have fixed CSS then whatever your colors are.

~blayn.